This system is way too broken to be involved - on this end. I've told you all a little bit about Cowboy and the ordeal we were/are going through with him. Today was the kicker.
We all know that people think we "get paid" and we all know how very little that stipend goes. We, willingly - forked out a lot of money over the past year or so. We wanted cowboy to have part of the childhood he "never had" (or so we were told). We wanted him to excel in school, and find a great group of friends. We took a lot of time off of work to go to meets and practices, that he decided last minute "wasn't for him" etc... He did get involved in street hockey.
GREAT - dangerous AND expensive! LMAO
So, aside from spending well over a grand in equipment, then time at local rinks so he could "practice," time for ER visits because he didn't feel like wearing the protective gear - we just considered it another part of parenting. This came up at one of the FTM's early on in the placement. His CW said that she would be able to file for additional funds for those activities. Great!
Nine months later, we receive a check for $100. **woohoo**
Due to the circumstances that I've talked about before (using/dealing, untreated issues such that actually put our family and animals in danger) we asked him to leave. He's over 18 now, and he has chosen to continue down the wrong path, and - just as we would with a bio-kid, will not tolerate that.
Do you know, the CW called us today, and asked us to send the check back or refund the money?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Wait - here you have a "child" in need, that YOU neglected. It was court ordered that he receive ongoing treatment and MEDICATION... hey - no one told us (we found out just a few weeks ago). So the division doesn't get Cowboy the help he needs, but they want their $100 back.
This isn't and never was about the money. Honestly, when he came to us, we didn't even think we would be given ANY financial assistance due to his age, and that was OK. We didn't get involved in the foster program for the money. We do just fine on our own, we own our own business and have been very fortunate. We just, naively, thought that there were too many children that needed good, loving homes - why continue down the path of private adoption.
Now, I take that back. The children are broken, because the system is broken. These issues could and SHOULD have been taken care of at an early age and followed through with. I don't want to hear the "oh, the case workers are so over-loaded." Is it just our local office, or is it everywhere that these CS CW and RW or whoever - take time off, ALL OF THE TIME.
I told the CW when she asked for that money to be returned "well, then who do i submit the receipts to for reimbursement for the time lost from work, being that I am self employed - for all the ER visits or hockey meets, to the iphone and ipad and laptop that he "needed" for school." (Mind you, we have 3 desktops in the house). He claims that we "never gave him his clothing allowance." That's right Cowboy, we never gave you the 36.14 per month for clothing that the division feels is sufficient. Instead, you can look at our Amex bills and see the weekly trips to all the "label" stores. A "kid" dressed in Banana Republic doesn't come off as a "needy" kid in my book.
The division has lost a great resource home, and has created a group of advocates now. Advocates who will fight to make sure they are DOING their jobs. Not just pushing kids around like paperwork.
If anyone has any groups that they are involved in similar to CASA, or any other child advocacy groups, please share them with us.
Still feel bad about closing - but we have to.
Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/407531-closing-our-home.html
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